I am tempted to ask only the fellas, but I will leave it open to a full discussion. After I read this post on Towleroad about Kanye West and his "manhood," I had to stop. What is it really that makes str8 men feel so uncomfortable around gay men, especially when they KNOW they are str8?
Hell, str8 dudes should be happy with less competition for women. Some might want to look to some gay men to help them step up their game to str8 women. I think I am a pretty good potential wing man. It just strikes me as funny to hear str8 men justify anything that may come across as seeming "gay." And it will never cease to amaze me how lesbians and bisexual women (do I even bring the trans-women to the table, or is that too much for the "manhood" police?) aren't nearly as threatening.
So, answer my question. What is it really that makes str8 men feel so uncomfortable around gay men, especially when they KNOW they are str8?
2 comments:
I've always thought the theory that homophobia is caused by straight folks "insecurities"--some secret fear that they may themselves be gay--doesn't fully explain it. I think it's less complicated than that. I think people are just afraid of things they don't know.
I grew up in a pretty much all-white neighborhood, and I'm embarrassed to admit this now, but I was a little afraid of black people...until I met some. As I got to know more black folks I realized that the difference in skin color is pretty insignificant in comparison to the common humanity we share.
So...the more straight people actually KNOW gay folks, the less afraid they are. It's obvious that things are better for us now than they were 20, 40, 100 years ago, and I think the only explanation for that is that more and more gay folks are no longer living secret lives...we are in the open and people KNOW us, and when they know us they realize that sexual orientation is pretty insignificant in comparison to the common humanity we share.
I tend to get on the soapbox about this, but I do believe that the more gay folks have the courage to come out let straight people get to know us as PEOPLE, the less the fear of us will be.
By the way...thanks for turning me on to an interesting new blog.
Scott
Good point ... that str8 men -- and people in general -- fear what they don't understand.
But I also think it's a concept thing, that men have been taught that being gay is a behavior (it was actually in the DSM III, for god's sake) ... one that was wrong and could be corrected.
I also think that many str8 men think that being gay somehow lessens the masculinity (which is why they are turned on by two women -- neither loses their femininity), which apparently is abhorrent to them.
The U.S. is a newcomer to the tolerance game and it will take a few more decades to normalize relations ...
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